Breaking Up. A Rare Occasion.

I wrote this just an hour after me and my girlfriend decided that it's time for a 'break'. I don't say that it doesn't work, maybe we need time to be alone and thinking about stuff, and also it's not our first drill, it's the third times for both of us.

But still, it last only 2 months and a week, thats a record, even for me. Both of my previous relationship last for a year. Honestly it's no one fault, we both got excited too early and we can't meet each other expectations. No hurt feeling, although it hurts a lot.

Maybe it's because we are so different. Religion, race, point of views, age gap, all the cummulated shit that separates people since the dawn of time. I'm romantic,I always believe that the power of love can unify anything, especially a relationship between two grown ups. But as usual, realities hit you like a bitch right on your face, and there's nothing much we can do except to let it go.

I don't wanna, off course, I love her, I like her a lot, but sometimes there's choice and we have to choose.

I got 'dumped' by phone by the way. She's going to have a final exam and I won't bother those important thing for this matter. I'm a grown up, i can handle it, not for so long but i can handle it.

Oh man,I really like her. She's like a full package of my favorite things bundled into one nice banquet of flowers. I honestly can imagine living a future with her. Except the realities that we are so, so, so, f-ing different. 

Okay, I feel depressed now.

"not as depressed as him tho"

Ah I wish i can share a pic of us here, but since we are doing this 'backstreet' way, I guess i can't.

Wait, maybe she just can't handle this 'backstreet' things, maybe she still in love with me, maybe I still have a chance, maybe i'm just comforting myself here. 

F you Tomy, just eat shit, you immature selfish bastard.

I guess that's it. Enough for now. Maybe I'll talk about this to my boys when the sun is up in the sky. I hope the talk doesn't ended up on a bartender's table.

Wish me luck,
Tomy

Terrified

Hello again, it's popcon last week.

I write something if I feel that's necessary, and actually I hate updating this blog, because it means that I'm losing control over my life.

Have you ever felt so lost that you started to woke up in the middle of the night and feeling guilty with no reason? That's me, I found myself on the edge of my bed every night, wondering about something I don't understand, feel damn sad and angry. I don't feel like me, I meet stranger when I look into the mirror, and I feel less happy than I used to be. And guys, you know what, it's all because a girl. 

My god, your friend here, he's in love. Deeply in love.

But he's confused, it's been an eternity of happy loneliness for him over this years and he had no idea what to do next. Is she love me too? What should I do now? Am I bothering her if I showed too many affections toward her? So many questions in his head, and yet he remain silent, motionless, too afraid to do something, too afraid to lose her, too afraid of rejection.

He's afraid, I'm afraid. Help.

Happy day with my lone wolf companion.